David Lodge, Why Some Men Find Orgasms Elusive, NYTimes, Mar. 7, 2025.
The opening paragraphs:
Most men, as many as 70 percent, say they reach orgasm quicker than they’d like. But there is an inverse problem that can set in with age: lasting too long.
For some men, reaching climax can take 30 minutes or more. Sex that lasts this long can be uncomfortable, painful and distressing for men and their partners.
Uh, yes.
Later:
Orgasms are basically a massive reflex, kind of like a “giant sneeze,” Dr. Rubin said. Just one requiring a “perfect genital-brain connection.”
The process starts with visual, mental or physical sexual stimulation, triggering the brain to release dopamine, which increases excitement. After sufficient stimulation, the brain releases a surge of pleasure-inducing chemicals, like oxytocin, creating the sensation we think of as an orgasm.
For most men, ejaculation occurs at the same time, “but they are separate processes,” said Dr. Alan Shindel, a urologist based in San Francisco. While orgasm mostly happens in the brain, ejaculation is a series of involuntary muscle contractions.
Complications affecting the genitals, pelvic floor muscles, spinal cord and brain can make orgasms premature, delayed, muted or even painful, Dr. Rubin said. Given the complexity involved, she said, “it’s actually amazing that more things don’t go wrong.”
I like the sneeze metaphor.
What got my attention is this: “While orgasm mostly happens in the brain, ejaculation is a series of involuntary muscle contractions.” Decades ago Wilhelm Reich argued that ejaculation is not necessarily orgasmic. He had trouble getting that idea accepted, among other things, and in any event his career ended in disaster. But Shindel's statement is consistent with Reich's believe.
On a different note, as it were, I have described how trumpet players sometimes experience something that feels somewhat like an organism, but which has nothing to do with the genitals, at least as far as I can tell. The physiological mechanisms are quite different, having to do with blood flow to the brain. Whether or not oxytocin is involved, I have no idea. But we are talking about music and music may well induce oxytocin secretion; that's what the late Walter Freeman believed.
Lodge’s article goes on to discuss possible causes of delayed orgasm in men, including medications, neurological issues, “partner-related concerns,” by which he the woman experiencing pain or “differences in libido, preferred types of sex acts and performance expectations,” and “psychological factors,” such as “depression, anxiety and stress.” That last category is the most interesting one from my perhaps peculiar point of view. That’s the sort of thing Reich was interested in as well.
The article ends with some short notes on treatments.
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