YouTube:
Why do we fall in love with one person over another? The late biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher unpacks the evolutionary roots of romantic love, sex, and attachment.
Using research derived from the ethnographies of hunter-gatherer societies and fMRI brain scans Fisher explains how love functions as a powerful survival mechanism.
00:00:00 A life shaped by love and curiosity
00:00:17 What was growing up like for you?
00:00:47 When did you first learn about sex?
00:03:30 What is the importance of sex in our lives?
00:06:13 How did your family life lead you to study the brain?
00:08:19 Is love supernatural?
00:09:23 Love is a drive, not a feeling
00:09:33 Why did humans evolve in a way other mammals did not?
00:17:18 How did you conduct your FMRI studies?
00:19:14 What did you find in your FMRI studies?
00:21:30 Did you think about the reviewer who called love “supernatural”?
00:21:54 Could you describe your next study?
00:24:15 How can this information be used?
00:26:12 How to make love last
00:28:25 How can we maintain a long-term relationship?
00:29:19 What is science doing to expand our understanding of love?
00:30:13 What work do you do with Match.com?
00:34:37 How is online dating affecting love?
00:37:22 What is “slow love"?
00:41:07 How are millennials approaching love?
00:43:31 Are men and women different?
00:53:59 Why are millennials different?
00:55:16 Does this change from city to city?
00:57:27 Does sex, love, and attachment always happen in that order?
01:05:04 What are the findings of your work?Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/full-interview/helen-fisher-science-of-love/
Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D. biological anthropologist, was a Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and a Member of the Center For Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University. She wrote six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships — what she called: slow love.
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Fisher had a short marriage early in life and then three long-term relationships later on. Then late in life, against all expectations, she got married again, and against all expectation. At 49:52 she notes:
How is this different? and I saw a little note that I had written to myself right after we got married and stuffed into that drawer. And I found it about a week ago. On the note it said “I married for adventure. He married for union.” And I looked at that note and I realized I found union and he found adventure. And I’ve asked him many times “How is it different?” And he says to me “It’s richer It’s deeper.” And I think that’s as good as I can get on it. It is richer. It is deeper.
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