This is to say, this is my 5003rd post here at New Savanna. I reached 2500 on July 14, 2014, and did a not so long post where I took a quick look at what I've been up to here. Should I take another wack at it? That stuff seems both so recent and so long ago. In lieu of doing a post where I attempt to characterize what's happened in the three-and-a-half years since then I'll just like to a post I did in the middle of December:
Reflections on entering my eighth decade and why it portends to be the most productive one of my life
For what it's worth, that post projects an optimism that I'm not feeling at the moment, but who knows what the morrow will bring?
My personality does not leave me prone to extended bouts of optimism. Back in the day when my work was critically assessed what I identified as complete and utter fails proved to be the most successful things I wrote.
ReplyDeleteThe feeling that comes with developing something new or utterly failing to do so feel little different from each other to my mind.
If anything successes can feel far worse and arrives at the point when what little optimism I have completely leaves the building.
It always looks like an accident, feels like an act of fraud or a serious error on the part of the reader and critic. They have clearly made a terrible mistake almost equal to my own.
Hitting the mark I find terrifying. I don't think for the emotional hit it brings, its not pleasant nor is it an accurate judge of things.