As far as I know, there is no standard account of why humans find sexuality so problematic. It’s not as though no one’s thought to investigate it. They have. But so far no one’s come up with a good account, at least not in thoroughly modern terms, not so far as I can see. So I decided to ask Claude 3.5 Sonnet about it and to suggest my own speculative approach to the problem.
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I believe that sexual shame is unique to animals. Our primates, monkeys and apes, do not insist on copulating in private. They are willing to copulate where others in the group can observe. Is this correct?
From a scientific perspective, this is an oversimplification. While many non-human primates do engage in mating behaviors openly within their social groups, the relationship between privacy and mating varies significantly across species and contexts.
Research in primatology has documented that some primate species do seek varying degrees of seclusion during mating. For instance, orangutans often mate away from other group members, and some gorilla groups show preferences for more secluded locations during breeding behaviors.
The concept of "sexual shame" as we understand it in human terms is complex and involves cultural, psychological, and social dimensions that are difficult to attribute directly to other species. What we observe in other primates is better understood as different patterns of social organization and mating strategies that have evolved to serve various biological and social functions.
Additionally, privacy-seeking behaviors in human societies show considerable variation across cultures and historical periods, suggesting that much of what we consider "sexual shame" is culturally constructed rather than being a universal biological trait.
Would you be interested in learning more about the specific mating patterns and social behaviors observed in different primate species?
That’s OK for now. And I understand that privacy-seeking behavior varies across cultures. In a culture where everyone lives in the same tent, for example, finding privacy is going to be quite different from a culture where everyone has their own sleeping room. Is there any standard reason why humans usually insist on privacy of some sort?
The human preference for private sexual activity appears to stem from several key factors that emerged during our species' development. From an evolutionary perspective, privacy during mating likely provided advantages in mate selection and pair bonding. Private sexual encounters allowed pairs to strengthen their emotional connections without interference or competition from other group members.
From a social perspective, humans developed complex systems of kinship, marriage, and social organization that regulated sexual behavior. These systems often included norms about appropriate contexts for sexual activity, which typically emphasized privacy. This privacy served practical purposes: it helped maintain social order, reduced conflict over mates, and supported the formation of stable family units.
Additionally, humans developed sophisticated cognitive abilities that include advanced theory of mind and heightened self-awareness. This led to complex emotional responses to being observed during intimate activities, which may have further reinforced preferences for privacy.
These biological and social factors appear to have co-evolved with human cultural development, resulting in widespread (though not universal) cultural norms around sexual privacy. While the specific manifestations of these privacy norms vary significantly across societies, the underlying tendency toward some form of privacy during sexual activity appears to be a common human trait.
Would you like to explore any particular aspect of these evolutionary or social dynamics in more detail?
OK. This is consistent with what I’m thinking: “humans developed sophisticated cognitive abilities that include advanced theory of mind and heightened self-awareness. This led to complex emotional responses to being observed during intimate activities, which may have further reinforced preferences for privacy.” Is there a standard reason why sexuality is so problematic for humans?
Human sexuality's complexity appears to stem from several interconnected factors. The development of advanced cognitive abilities that you referenced has made human sexuality uniquely intricate compared to other species.
Our capacity for complex emotional attachments and social relationships means that sexual behavior becomes deeply entwined with personal identity, emotional well-being, and social status. This creates multiple layers of meaning beyond the basic biological drive.
The human brain's sophisticated ability to process symbolic meaning and create cultural narratives transforms sexuality into something that carries significant social and psychological weight. Sexual behavior becomes linked to concepts of morality, identity, and social standing in ways that can create internal conflicts and anxieties.
Additionally, the extended period of human development and the importance of stable family units for child-rearing has led societies to develop elaborate systems for regulating sexual behavior. These cultural systems, while serving important social functions, can sometimes conflict with biological drives, creating tension between instinct and social expectations.
Furthermore, humans' heightened self-awareness means we can anticipate others' judgments and internalize social standards about sexuality, potentially leading to psychological stress that other species likely don't experience. Our ability to imagine future consequences and remember past experiences adds layers of complexity to sexual decision-making.
Would you like to explore any of these specific aspects in more detail?
I offer a pet speculation about why humans are bedeviled by sex
Here’s my highly speculative explanation. It has to do with the nature of human development. When humans are born a whole range of biological ‘drives’ and ‘desires’ are active. They’re necessary for the infant to live and thrive.
But cognitive capabilities are quite primitive. They develop relatively slowly, over a matter of years. As that happens the basic biological drives remain active. The way they are dealt with, organized into behavior, will change as cognition becomes more sophisticated. And then adolescence hits. Two things happen.
On the one hand abstract thought emerges (Piaget). On the other hand, adult sexuality matures. But it’s completely new. It hasn’t been a part of the process of behavioral elaboration and maturation that the other biological ‘drives’ and needs have been, hunger and thirst, sleep, exploration, etc. It’s just there. I’m thinking that if it emerges significantly after abstract thinking, the abstraction system (if you will) is more likely to conceive of it as some foreign object, some strange Other, but an Other that’s trapped there inside the body. That makes it very problematic. If on the other hand sexuality arrives first, then the abstraction system can more easily treat it just like any of the other biological motivations.
Your hypothesis presents an intriguing developmental perspective on human sexuality's unique challenges. Let me analyze several key aspects of this framework.