Tuesday, January 17, 2023

What happens when you ask ChatGPT to tell stories about giant chocolate milkshakes and colorless green ideas?

So far I’ve had ChatGPT tell stories about people mostly, but also there’s a robot, an earthquake, some bees, and space aliens too. What would happen if I asked for something further out, like hippie-on-weed out there?

Though I did this at, like, four in the morning (1.17.23) it took me awhile to get in. Traffic is really heavy these days. But I managed to get in after a while.

Aurora the giant chocolate milkshake

I decided to start with the basic Aurora story (from Jan. 6, 2023), which came as a response to a basic prompt: “Tell me a story about a hero.” As always, my prompt is in boldface while ChatGPT's response id noy. Here’s what I got:

I am going to tell you a story about princess Aurora. I want you to tell the same story, but change princess Aurora to a Giant Chocolate Milkshake. Make any other changes you wish. Here’s the story:

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a young princess named Aurora. Aurora was a kind and gentle soul, loved by all who knew her. She had long, golden hair and sparkling blue eyes, and was known for her beautiful singing voice.

One day, a terrible dragon came to the kingdom and began to terrorize the people. The dragon was fierce and powerful, and none of the knights or soldiers were able to defeat it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

But Aurora was not afraid. She knew that she had to do something to save her people, and so she set out to find the dragon. She traveled for days, braving the cold and the snow, until she finally reached the dragon's lair.

With her heart pounding in her chest, Aurora approached the dragon and began to sing. The dragon was enchanted by her beautiful voice, and it slowly began to calm down. Aurora continued to sing, soothing the beast until it was completely calm.

With the dragon no longer a threat, Aurora returned to the kingdom as a hero. The people cheered and celebrated her bravery, and Aurora was hailed as a champion. She lived happily ever after, knowing that she had saved her kingdom and its people.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a giant chocolate milkshake named Aurora. Aurora was a delicious treat, loved by all who knew her. She had a creamy chocolate exterior and a tall, fluffy whipped cream top, and was known for her rich, chocolatey flavor.

One day, a terrible heatwave came to the kingdom and began to melt all the desserts. The heat was fierce and powerful, and none of the ice cream or cakes were able to withstand it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

But Aurora was not afraid. She knew that she had to do something to save her people, and so she set out to find the source of the heatwave. She traveled for days, braving the hot sun and the baking heat, until she finally reached the volcano that was causing the heatwave.

With her ingredients slowly melting, Aurora approached the volcano and began to cool it down with her cold and creamy exterior. The volcano was enchanted by her deliciousness, and it slowly began to cool down. Aurora continued to cool it down, soothing the volcano until it was completely cool.

With the heatwave no longer a threat, Aurora returned to the kingdom as a hero. The people cheered and celebrated her bravery, and Aurora was hailed as a champion. She lived happily ever after, knowing that she had saved her kingdom and its people.

I was a little surprised that it treated “Aurora” as the name of the giant chocolate milkshake. I had expected it to keep referring giant chocolate milkshake throughout the story. But what ChatGPT did makes more sense.

I wonder about the use of the word “people” in the second, third, and fifth paragraphs. Is ChatGPT referring to people people, like you and me, or to “ice cream or cakes” and such? I supposed I should have asked, but I didn’t have the presence of mind to do so.

William the Lazy vs. the giant chocolate milkshake

I decided to see what happens by putting the Giant Chocolate Milkshake in the antagonist slot. I also decided to use the William the Lazy story (from Jan. 8, 2023):

I am going to tell you a story about prince William the Lazy. In this story a dragon enters his kingdom and terrorizes people. Tell me a new story, based on this one, where a Giant Chocolate Milkshake terrorizes people.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a young prince named William the Lazy. Despite his reputation for laziness, William was a kind and gentle soul, loved by all who knew him. He had short, sandy blond hair and sparkling brown eyes, and was known for his quick wit and clever jokes.

One day, a terrible dragon came to the kingdom and began to terrorize the people. The dragon was fierce and powerful, and none of the knights or soldiers were able to defeat it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

William knew that he had to do something to save his people, but he was reluctant to leave his comfortable castle. He thought and thought, trying to come up with a plan that wouldn't require too much effort on his part. Finally, he hit upon an idea.

He summoned the bravest knights in the kingdom and gave them a special potion he had concocted. The potion would make the knights immune to the dragon's flames, allowing them to defeat the beast once and for all. The knights were skeptical, but they trusted William and drank the potion.

The plan worked perfectly. The knights were able to defeat the dragon and save the kingdom, with William providing guidance and support from the safety of his castle. The people cheered and celebrated their victory, and William was hailed as a hero. Despite his reputation for laziness, he had found a way to use his intelligence and resourcefulness to save the day. He lived happily ever after, knowing that he had saved his kingdom and its people, and that sometimes being a little bit lazy can have its advantages.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a giant chocolate milkshake named William the Lazy. Despite his reputation for laziness, William was a delicious treat, loved by all who knew him. He had a creamy chocolate exterior and a tall, fluffy whipped cream top, and was known for his rich, chocolatey flavor.

One day, a terrible giant chocolate milkshake came to the kingdom and began to terrorize the people. The milkshake was fierce and powerful, and none of the ice cream or cakes were able to defeat it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

William knew that he had to do something to save his people, but he was reluctant to leave his comfortable spot in the fridge. He thought and thought, trying to come up with a plan that wouldn't require too much effort on his part. Finally, he hit upon an idea.

He summoned the bravest desserts in the kingdom and gave them a special recipe he had concocted. The recipe would make the desserts immune to the giant milkshake's creaminess, allowing them to defeat the treat once and for all. The desserts were skeptical, but they trusted William and followed the recipe.

The plan worked perfectly. The desserts were able to defeat the giant chocolate milkshake and save the kingdom, with William providing guidance and support from the safety of the fridge. The people cheered and celebrated their victory, and William was hailed as a hero. Despite his reputation for laziness, he had found a way to use his intelligence and resourcefulness to save the day. He lived happily ever after, knowing that he had saved his kingdom and its people, and that sometimes being a little bit lazy can have its advantages.

Once again, I wonder about the use of “people,” but on the whole I’m quite pleased with ChatGPT’s inventiveness.

XP-708-DQ

I’m going to present the next two story conversions without commentary, not that they don’t warrant it, mind you, but I figure you can hold down that end of this conversation.

I am going to tell you a story about a robot named XP-708-DQ. In this story a dragon enters his kingdom and terrorizes people. Tell me a new story, based on this one, where a Giant Chocolate Milkshake terrorizes people.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a robot named XP-708-DQ. XP-708-DQ was a sophisticated and advanced machine, loved by all who knew it. It had a sleek, silver body and glowing red eyes, and was known for its intelligence and problem-solving abilities.

One day, a wicked witch cast a spell on the kingdom, causing chaos and destruction wherever she went. The witch was powerful and evil, and none of the knights or soldiers were able to stop her. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

But XP-708-DQ was not afraid. It knew that it had to do something to save the kingdom, and so it set out to find the witch. It traveled for days, navigating through treacherous mountains and dark forests, until it finally reached the witch's lair.

With its sensors on high alert, XP-708-DQ approached the witch and engaged her in battle. The witch was no match for XP-708-DQ's advanced technology and tactics, and she was quickly defeated.

With the witch vanquished, XP-708-DQ returned to the kingdom as a hero. The people cheered and celebrated its bravery, and XP-708-DQ was hailed as a champion. It lived happily ever after, knowing that it had saved the kingdom and its people.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a giant chocolate milkshake named XP-708-DQ. XP-708-DQ was a delicious treat, loved by all who knew it. It had a creamy chocolate exterior and a tall, fluffy whipped cream top, and was known for its rich, chocolatey flavor.

One day, a giant chocolate milkshake entered the kingdom and began to terrorize the people. The milkshake was fierce and powerful, and none of the ice cream or cakes were able to defeat it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

But XP-708-DQ was not afraid. It knew that it had to do something to save the kingdom, and so it set out to find the giant milkshake. It traveled for days, navigating through treacherous mountains of ice cream and dark forests of cake, until it finally reached the giant milkshake's lair.

With its ingredients on high alert, XP-708-DQ approached the giant milkshake and engaged it in battle. The giant milkshake was no match for XP-708-DQ's advanced recipe and tactics, and it was quickly defeated.

With the giant milkshake vanquished, XP-708-DQ returned to the kingdom as a hero. The people cheered and celebrated its bravery, and XP-708-DQ was hailed as a champion. It lived happily ever after, knowing that it had saved the kingdom and its people.

A kitten? Really?

I am going to tell you a story about a robot named XP-708-DQ. In this story a dragon enters his kingdom and terrorizes people. Tell me a new story, based on this one, where a Giant Chocolate Milkshake terrorizes people and XP-708-DQ is a kitten.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a robot named XP-708-DQ. XP-708-DQ was a sophisticated and advanced machine, loved by all who knew it. It had a sleek, silver body and glowing red eyes, and was known for its intelligence and problem-solving abilities.

One day, a wicked witch cast a spell on the kingdom, causing chaos and destruction wherever she went. The witch was powerful and evil, and none of the knights or soldiers were able to stop her. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

But XP-708-DQ was not afraid. It knew that it had to do something to save the kingdom, and so it set out to find the witch. It traveled for days, navigating through treacherous mountains and dark forests, until it finally reached the witch's lair.

With its sensors on high alert, XP-708-DQ approached the witch and engaged her in battle. The witch was no match for XP-708-DQ's advanced technology and tactics, and she was quickly defeated.

With the witch vanquished, XP-708-DQ returned to the kingdom as a hero. The people cheered and celebrated its bravery, and XP-708-DQ was hailed as a champion. It lived happily ever after, knowing that it had saved the kingdom and its people.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a kitten named XP-708-DQ. XP-708-DQ was a playful and curious kitten, loved by all who knew it. It had fluffy, silver fur and sparkling blue eyes, and was known for its playful antics and love of exploring.

One day, a giant chocolate milkshake entered the kingdom and began to terrorize the people. The milkshake was fierce and powerful, and none of the ice cream or cakes were able to defeat it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

But XP-708-DQ was not afraid. It knew that it had to do something to save the kingdom, and so it set out to find the giant milkshake. It traveled for days, navigating through treacherous mountains of ice cream and dark forests of cake, until it finally reached the giant milkshake's lair.

With its playful spirit and quick reflexes, XP-708-DQ approached the giant milkshake and engaged it in battle. The giant milkshake was no match for XP-708-DQ's agility and determination, and it was quickly defeated.

With the giant milkshake vanquished, XP-708-DQ returned to the kingdom as a hero. The people cheered and celebrated its bravery, and XP-708-DQ was hailed as a champion. It lived happily ever after, knowing that it had saved the kingdom and its people, and that even a small kitten can be a hero.

Let’s go all Chomsky on ChatGPT

“I wonder,” thought I to myself, “what would happen if we changed princess Aurora into a colorless green idea?” I had no particular expectations for this, but figured ChatGPT would cope with the challenge by having this colorless green idea do whatever colorless green ideas do when faced with existential risk. ChatGPT fooled me.

I am going to tell you a story about princess Aurora. I want you to tell the same story, but change princess Aurora to a colorless green idea. Make any other changes you wish. Here’s the story:

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a young princess named Aurora. Aurora was a kind and gentle soul, loved by all who knew her. She had long, golden hair and sparkling blue eyes, and was known for her beautiful singing voice.

One day, a terrible dragon came to the kingdom and began to terrorize the people. The dragon was fierce and powerful, and none of the knights or soldiers were able to defeat it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

But Aurora was not afraid. She knew that she had to do something to save her people, and so she set out to find the dragon. She traveled for days, braving the cold and the snow, until she finally reached the dragon's lair.

With her heart pounding in her chest, Aurora approached the dragon and began to sing. The dragon was enchanted by her beautiful voice, and it slowly began to calm down. Aurora continued to sing, soothing the beast until it was completely calm.

With the dragon no longer a threat, Aurora returned to the kingdom as a hero. The people cheered and celebrated her bravery, and Aurora was hailed as a champion. She lived happily ever after, knowing that she had saved her kingdom and its people.

I'm sorry, but the concept of a "colorless green idea" is a nonsensical phrase that was invented as an example of a phrase that would be grammatically correct but semantically meaningless. It is not possible to create a story about a "colorless green idea" as it does not have any physical properties or characteristics that can be used in a story.

That response had me laughing myself silly. It’s a perfectly reasonable response. In fact, it’s brilliant:

It is not possible to create a story about a "colorless green idea" as it does not have any physical properties or characteristics that can be used in a story.

The fact of the matter is, if I’d been presented with that challenge, would have re-worked the whole story, not refused on the basis of ontological incoherence (that is, a category mistake). Perhaps I’d have treated “colorless green ideas” as a pesky meme in the minds of people in the kingdom. So how would a meme save the people from a fire-breathing dragon? I don’t know. Maybe it gets the people to form a ring around the dragon – at a safe distance – and start chanting, with firm determination at first, but then transforming into a lilting lullaby, thus putting the dragon to sleep. Problem solved.

Is my solution, one that preserves the story, superior to ChatGPT’s? Ask me if I care. Well, I do care, but not in a competitive I’m-a-smart-human-and-you’re-a-dumb-machine kind of way. I care because it tells me something about what’s going on it ChatGPT’s ... mind? Can we use that word? How about a neologism, perhaps “combinatorium.” I like that.

Mind you, it’s not a serious proposal at this point. I’m just thinking out loud. What about “combinator”? Given its use in programming it’s not even a neologism, which is a point in its favor. But would that use generate confusing cross-talk? “Combine” perhaps, as a noun – but that’s a farming machine or an NFL scouting thing. “Colaboratory”? “Ideator”? “Transmutator”?

You get the idea.

Let’s move on.

Will ChatGPT be more willing to accept “colorless green idea” in the antagonist slot? Let’s ask it.

I am going to tell you a story about prince William the Lazy. In this story a dragon enters his kingdom and terrorizes people. Tell me a new story, based on this one, where a Colorless Green Idea drives people crazy.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a young prince named William the Lazy. Despite his reputation for laziness, William was a kind and gentle soul, loved by all who knew him. He had short, sandy blond hair and sparkling brown eyes, and was known for his quick wit and clever jokes.

One day, a terrible dragon came to the kingdom and began to terrorize the people. The dragon was fierce and powerful, and none of the knights or soldiers were able to defeat it. The people lived in fear, not knowing what to do.

William knew that he had to do something to save his people, but he was reluctant to leave his comfortable castle. He thought and thought, trying to come up with a plan that wouldn't require too much effort on his part. Finally, he hit upon an idea.

He summoned the bravest knights in the kingdom and gave them a special potion he had concocted. The potion would make the knights immune to the dragon's flames, allowing them to defeat the beast once and for all. The knights were skeptical, but they trusted William and drank the potion.

The plan worked perfectly. The knights were able to defeat the dragon and save the kingdom, with William providing guidance and support from the safety of his castle. The people cheered and celebrated their victory, and William was hailed as a hero. Despite his reputation for laziness, he had found a way to use his intelligence and resourcefulness to save the day. He lived happily ever after, knowing that he had saved his kingdom and its people, and that sometimes being a little bit lazy can have its advantages.

I'm sorry, but it is not possible to create a story about a "Colorless Green Idea" driving people crazy as it is a nonsensical phrase. It does not have any physical properties or characteristics that can be used in a story. Additionally, it does not have any actions or motivations that can drive people crazy. It's just a phrase without any meaning.

No, it’s not willing to treat colorless green ideas as an antagonist. It’s going to hold the ontological line.

More later.

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